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If you’re still with me, and I don’t blame you if you’re not, this kind of Cinderella porn is what substitutes for the book’s darker, bloodier fantasies. Richard Belzer, Comedy Legend Turned Beloved 'Law & Order: SVU' Detective, Dead at 78 Christian has a single flaw - he gets off by blindfolding Ana, tying her up in his Red Room of Pain, cuffing her to the wall and flogging her. She finds the perfect man: Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), a 27-year-old, techno-billionaire hottie out to stop world hunger. Onscreen, directed by a slumming Sam Taylor-Johnson ( Nowhere Man) from a sanitized script by Kelly Marcel, we have the story of a poor, virginal English major - one Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson). (Only amateurs say “sadist” and “masochist.”) But at least James suggested there might be something to learn from what connects a dominant and a submissive. I know there are three novels ( Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed), but I only made it through the first one. Yeah, the book attracted 100 million readers in 52 languages. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey is such a dull, decorous affair, about as erotic as an ad for Pottery Barn.
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I’m shocked - shocked, do you hear me?!? - that the film version of E.L.
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